ho likes conflict in the home? OK, well, a few of you out there. Conflict is not only inevitable, but it is also healthy. The question is how much chaos there is, and how it gets resolved. Men, as the spiritual leader of the home, have a lot of power in calming the storms of family life.
In Luke 8:22, Jesus decides to go cruising in a boat with his disciples across the lake. The Savior decides to snooze and up comes a big storm. Well, disciples, not yet in their leadership mode, freak out and call on Jesus, and of course He calms the storm. Got a crisis in the casa? Call on Jesus. Make the Holy One your first 911!
Proverbs has a lot to say when things at home aren’t going well. In 15:18 the Word says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Have you ever added to the fire with words of anger? It is as common as a hot summer day here in July. So what’s a brother to do? If you are prone to anger or impulsiveness in relationships, then you need more spiritual fruit in the diet. In Galatians 5:22, it lists out, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Sounds like a good antidote for a bad attitude.
The tricky thing is filling your self with the Spirit. We can if we choose to spend time in a relationship with the Holy Spirit. I don’t know what works for you, but I start the day with a diet of prayer, devotional, and meditation on the Word. When we make Him the foundation of our day and we give Him the first minutes of our morning, then we won’t end up mourning the stupid stuff that slips from our lips. Being gentle, patient, and self-controlled is the medicine for a mismanaged life. If you repeat that verse (Gal. 5:22) 5 times a day, your family and co-workers will notice a change.
The Bible again gives wise words when it says to “not let the son go down on your anger “ (Ephesians 4:26). We should be living one day at a time. To carry over resentment from one day to the next does lead to either peace or good sleep. A couple things to do if you want a decent night’s sleep: If you have a conflict, talk about it with someone before the sun goes down. Try to come to a resolution in the evening, even if it is just to agree to disagree. Charger fans and Raider zealots will never see eye to eye!
Another activity is to forgive those that have hurt you or caused you frustration. If you hold onto your forgiveness, it really does increase your suffering and decrease your peace. Forgiving doesn’t mean you condone their thinking or conduct, but it does help relationships and the forgiver. Holding on to resentment and not forgiving is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die!! “I’ll show you! I’ll be angry for a long time!” Often, people we are angry with aren’t even thinking about the problem or your relationship.
One last suggestion to help reduce tension and increase sleep: write out your concerns. You can pen a letter to the one you are angry with and two great things can happen. Initially, we will feel better just getting the issues out of the head and on to paper. If you do something with frustration, it takes away some of its energy. The other blessing is that when we do this activity, it can help us to see things in a different light. You don’t have to give them the note, but if you do, when they read it in the morning, they may be in a different, more relaxed state of mind. This can lead to conflict resolution and more calm in the casa!