Was “Dear Abby” wrong because she made a mistake or was she born that way?
Was it part of her DNA to ignore scientific evidence or did she just decide one day to act ignorant? Part of the Rural Reader Writing and Ranting is the power to get opinions and truth into the daily news. I am not the author of truth, but some things are what they are. It is hot in the summer, 2+2 equals 4 and “gay people can change!”
I read or review Dear Abby daily. I like to learn, but I am just a fan of the human condition, for better or for worse. My wife thinks I am goofy! Today, in Dear Abby (2/19/14), she/they messed up again. The Q/A had to do with some conservative folks that didn’t want to befriend gay neighbors. Not my way, but hey this is America. Anyway, Abby makes the statement “Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.”
How does that statement jive with PEOPLE I HAVE MET WHO ARE NO LONGER GAY!!! Those people must be lying, because Abby can’t be wrong. Our inaccurate advisor is giving popular beliefs about gay folks, but no scientific evidence. Are people born alcoholics or addicts? Research shows that there is a high correlation between alcoholic parents and having addicted children. But if one never tries beer or vodka, they will never be an alcoholic. If you don’t ever try weed or smoking crack, you won’t become an addict, 100% of the time!
Now, sexual attraction is a different thing I realize. Don’t make my word for it, but go to NARTH, The National Association for the Research and Treatment of Homosexuality, and read some research. Sexual attraction, orientation and desire can change and there are many case studies, scientific research and Christian Ministries to support this truth. Call the staff of Christ Community Church, one of our largest churches in the valley, and you can talk to people about how Jesus has changed their life.
If an alcoholic wants to quit drinking, he or she can. It is hard. It is work. It requires doing things we don’t FEEL like doing. People change all the time and AA has millions of success stories. There was a ministry (Exodus), with thousands of success stories about people leaving the gay lifestyle, beginning and maintaining a successful happy heterosexual lifestyle. I have read some of their biographies, met some of the people, so don’t tell me these folks don’t exist.
Is same sex attraction a tough nut to crack? I suppose so, but feelings don’t define you. If so, then I am a murderer. Yes I have wished bad things to happen to people and in counseling people confess these feelings quite frequently. Does that mean they would ever pull a trigger or purchase the poison? No. Feelings are feelings, and they do not define a person. It is our behavior that is the best measure of a man. Just cuz I feel like a million bucks doesn’t mean I can make a withdrawal at the credit union. My fiscal reality is dictated by how many deposits I make at the bank.
Some things we can change about ourselves. Height, skin color, genes, God given abilities and limitations are what we can’t change. Sorry Bubba, you will never be good at math. But you can buy a calculator or marry an accountant. There is no gay gene, and they have been looking for them for decades. Just like there is no missing link. We did not come from monkeys, and no matter how much you look, you won’t find evidence. Theories yes. Evidence no. Please Abby. Do your homework or just say, “Many believe…” But when you lie about the gay thing, well I’m not gay, just unhappy!